Memories
by Maesterlicious
Summary: * organization.kairi, riku.sora * I was jealous, I ran off. I'm saved, and I die. All of my memories keep you near... Oneshot, rating for implied sex, whoring, and character death, and anything else you can think of after reading this.


I take your hand and his hand, and place them together. You close your eyes and I watch as you open them again shortly. You fall to your knees, and I let go of your hands, moving back. I feel a small pang of jealousy, but I know that it's not worth it, because I know that if it wasn't for me, you never would have found him. You would've given up after awhile, and then you would've been heartbroken. I couldn't live with myself if I didn't help you. You begin to cry, and I want to myself, but not for the same reason. It's because you don't realize I love you, and you love him. That jealousy comes back; all you did to me was a simple touch. You're practically all over him, crying about how you 'looked for him everywhere.'

Sometimes, I think you forget how much I helped you these past few years. I thought it was me you cared for most; you looking for me, you free my heart, you saved the islands, and you promised you'd come back for me. But I had to go out and find you, because all you cared about was finding him. If it wasn't for them, I wouldn't have been able to get there to find him, so you could have your 'reunion' with him. So don't ever thank me, thank them. I hope you're happy now that you're choosing this. I hope it brings you bliss. I really hope you get it, and you don't live to regret it. I hope you're happy in the end. I hope you're happy my friend.

* * *

I take your hand and place it within mine. Somehow in a year, you've returned from the nothingness, and it seems as if you've reached your goal. It was as if you had to end your non-existent life to begin anew, with your goal completed. Why didn't we realize what you wanted wasn't really that bad? You were so close, but we had to ruin it for you. I tell you I'm sorry on our behalf, but you brush it off with a chaste kiss. There are times when I wonder why you came to the islands after you all reappeared, but then I realize that… I can feel like I'm actually wanted around when I'm here in the castle.

The colors are beginning to get mixed up for me. The silver turns light blue. The red turns pinkish-brown. The golden-yellow turns brown. The lavender-gray turns black. Fierce orange turns to cat-like yellow. Emerald and forest and mint green all mix together and become midnight and sapphire and sky blue. Stone-gray mixes in with them all. But right now, it's silver and orange. I look into your eyes, and I smile. Why is it that you can make me smile? You've claimed me as yours, yet… so have they. They all have, and I wonder… do you know who's child I have? I think there's more than one, and I think they're yours…

* * *

I take your hand and place it back in your lap. It's been five years, and I'm so confused. Why do I feel a longing to go home? You softly kiss me, but I can't feel it anymore. I can't feel anything anymore. I'm so numb, on the inside and outside. This is more than how you all felt so long ago. You could only not feel emotion. I can't feel emotion OR the gentle, somewhat loving touches from you. You lay me down on the bed gently. I know what's coming. It's happened non-stop, everyday for the past six years, save for the last few months of my pregnancy and when I was with you. That was the last break I received. I've been on birth control ever since. Even with thirteen people, no one could, or wanted to take care of the child. She was born with a defect, and no one wanted her, not even her own damn father. I begged and pleaded with him, but no matter how hard I tried, that silver and orange betrayed me and sent her away.

I should give you more credit, though. You helped me through my tears. Your golden yellow and dark green kept me strong. I give you too much credit. If she were your child, you would've understood more, but you took advantage of my sadness, and you're the reason I can't feel. It's because of you I'm damned to suffer this unfeelingness. I'm being forced to be your whore. I cry silent tears in the silent moments. These tears mean nothing.

* * *

I take your hand and place it next to my heart. I feel like… heh, I can finally feel again. How did you find me? I don't care, I'm just so happy. You tell me about him. He's… sick? You tell me he's bed ridden. You say that he's been like that for a few years, and he wants to see me. You say that's why you finally got the strength to get out and find me. You say that you just saw him not too long ago, when you gave up, when he mentioned them, the ones that you defeated countless years ago. I ask how long it's been, and you say fifteen years. It's amazing how quick the years roll by when you think you're in love, but you turn out to be whored out to eleven grown men. You lose track of everything, I tell you as we make our way back to the islands in his old Gummi ship.

You tell me where he is, and I take off, not even waiting for you. I find him; he looks horrible. I call out his name and I see his eyelids flutter, and I see a little bit of blue. It's not the bright blue I remember, and the brown mess of spikes aren't as bouncy as they once were. He opens his eyes completely as I walk over and sit on his bed. You walk in, and I give you a sympathetic look. I take his hand and place in mine, and I reach for yours, placing it with mine as well. His breathing evens out as he whispers my name, and then he stops breathing. I don't let go and I hang my head and let my hair hide the silent tears in this silent moment.

* * *

I take your hand and place it in mine. It's been three years since he died, and I'm sick now, too. At first, you said it was just depression, but now you realize that's not the truth. It was from how I was treated for fifteen years of my pathetic life. After he died, I stopped feeling again. Did you know that? I bet you never realized it. Heh, I always wanted to become an actress – to be able to perform in front of many people. Looks like you've been my audience for the past three years. How was my performance? Playing the part of the woman who is perfectly fine after a life of trauma. But like I say, it was all an act.

I close my eyes for a moment, and see bright blue and warm brown. I miss that, I tell you as I open my eyes again. You don't ask what I'm talking about, because you know. You know that every time I close my eyes, I see his face. You that I'm always disappointed when I open them, because I'm met with dull white and seemingly empty aqua. I know his death affected you more, because two were in love. I was just the jealous friend that ran off with temptation.

I gently squeeze your hand, and you smile, a smile that had always been save for him, but this one is filled with sadness. I smile back, knowing that shortly, I'll be gone. With a smile still on my lips, I take one last breath, and see dull and empty being replaced by bright and bouncy.

_In this world you tried  
Not leaving me alone behind  
There's no other way  
I'll pray to the gods: let him stay_

_The memories ease the pain inside  
Now I know why_

_All of my memories  
Keep you near  
In silent moments  
Imagine you'd be here  
All of my memories  
Keep you near  
The silent whispers, silent tears_

_Made me promise I'd try  
To find my way back in this life  
I hope there is away  
To give me a sign you're okay  
Reminds me again  
It's worth it all  
So I can go home_

_All of my memories  
Keep you near  
In silent moments  
Imagine you'd be here  
All of my memories  
Keep you near  
The silent whispers, silent tears_

_Together in all these memories  
I see your smile  
All the memories I hold dear  
Darling you know I love you till the end of time_

_All of my memories  
Keep you near  
In silent moments  
Imagine you'd be here  
All of my memories  
Keep you near  
The silent whispers, silent tears_

Memories – Within Temptation


End file.
